Bipolar Tuesday: Won’t to Can’t

The past couple of weeks have been a true test of my patience. About a week ago I had an epiphany. It is what it is. Until we get a med adjustment LeBella’s issues are unavoidable. So, how can I make this scenario less stressful for both of us? Simple, I need to change to “Won’t” to “Can’t” and go from there.

Stressor: LeBella won’t stop yelling.

Truth: LeBella can’t stop yelling. (She is a sensory seeker, noise is a favorite.)

Solution 1: I give her opportunities to stretch her vocal cords. We turn on the radio and Living room Karaoke our butts off.

Solution 2:We uses lots of silly voices, high squeaky voices and deep grumbly voices and everything in between.

Stressor: LeBella won’t stop running circles around the house.

Truth: LeBella can’t stop running circles around the house. (When she is manic she’s near to bursting with energy, I swear the air around her vibrates!)

Solution 1: Send her out back. We are fortunate to have a six foot privacy fence, that is locked from the outside. I send her out there and she runs all around until she is sweaty and panting.

Solution 2: Just Dance 2 on the WII. This game has been a Godsend! She loves the songs. After a few songs she has burned up some energy and brought her mood up a few notches.

Stressor: LeBella won’t stopping running away in public.

Truth: LeBella can’t stop running away in public. (She has very poor impulse control and is a notorious eloper.)

Solution 1: Don’t take her out. I try to leave her home when I can, even if that means I have to do shopping at night after she is sleeping. This is hard because I’m use to her being with me everywhere.

Solution 2: Careful planning. I know I can take her out first thing in the morning, she usually wakes up in a good mood.

Stressor: LeBella won’t remember the things she needs to do routinely.

Truth: LeBella can’t remember the things she needs to do routinely.

Solution 1: I made LeBella a control journal, you can read more about that here.

Solution 2: LeBella has a couple “launch pads”, these are areas that are set up ahead of time with items she will need (i.e. all her home school materials are organized and set up in a special spot).

Stressor: LeBella won’t stop touching/hitting everyone.

Truth: LeBella can’t stop touching/hitting everyone. (She is seeking sensory stimulation.)

Solution 1: I provide sensory activities for her such as shaving cream, bubble wrap, playdoh, bubbles and a variety of textured fabrics.

Solution 2: Blanket wrapping. She loves this, we spread her comforter out on the floor, she lays on it and I roll and unroll her repeatedly.(also good: crash pads, compression tunnels and indoor swings)

Thank you to the following lovely ladies for your input: @Heatherlisa82, @Jennyannfraser, @JenTroester, @tiredmommyof4, @TheRealDaniG

If you have any other issues that you need ideas for or you have more ideas for the issues listed please leave a comment!

Bipolar Tuesday: Ring Around My Sanity

Ring around the rosie

A pocketful of posies

Ashes, Ashes

We all fall down!

Doesn’t that song just put visions of cherubic little angles with freckles and pig tails in your head.

Whatever.

Here’s our version:

Ring around my mommy

Because I think it’s funny

Dashes, dashes

We all run away!

I’m telling you, since LeBella learned to walk she has been running circles around everyone and everything!

In daycare and at school she would/will run around desks, tables, other students.

At home it’s the car, the love seat and the dining room table.

I know what you’re thinking, “Um, hello, Mommylebron, just don’t chase her.”

Not an option.

When she’s in “Elopement Mode” she has an objective.

Her objective is: Away.

Away=Outside. Roads. Traffics. The ability to blend into the neighbor’s shrubs with or without the aid of camouflage.

If she manages to get Away (and she has) chasing is no longer an option. That just leads to Further Away.

(Did I mention I am not a runner??)

She rarely has a reason. She just gets all impulsive and twitchy, then it’s on. Usually there are tell tale signs. This is a good thing because otherwise we skip the game of Ring Around Mommy and go straight to the objective.

I usually have to dig deep at this point. I can’t show that I’m agitated because she feeds into that. So I go for positive redirection.

“Hey, baby girl, wanna go blow bubbles.”\

Negative.

“Chacha moo moo, wanna draw a picture?”

Negative. Sigh.

“Lala? Want to eat mommy’s Dove ice cream with the super yummy ganache on top?”

Bingo.

And all is right with the LeWorld again.

Except I have no ice cream now.

 

**In the event that your child runs away and you are not confident in your ability to keep them safe you should immediately call 911. Inform the operator that your child suffers from mental illness and is not acting rationally. If this is a habitual event with your child you may want to find out if your local police department has a specially trained Crisis Officer and make them familiar with your families situation.

Related Articles

• Bipolar at Age 2? (everydayhealth.com)
• Keeping Track of Bipolar Medical Records (everydayhealth.com)

Bipolar Tuesday: Walking on Eggshells in a Field of Land Mines, With Love

Okay, back to the regularly schedule mayhem that is “Bipolar Tuesday”. I’m so greedy, I only give it to you once week even though I bask in the splendor daily…..
Last week I went over some of LeBella’s triggers and some of you probably wonder how I am still sane, I’m not sure. I mean, I’m not sure if I’m actually still sane…that’s why I’m here…*crickets chirping* aaaand nevermind…So, I promised you this week I would let you know how we try to avoid these triggers, and how we deal with them when they rear they’re crazy ugly heads. So, here goes….
I’m going to make a confession right off the bat. I only ask that you don’t judge us, because unless you’ve been there…just don’t judge us, ‘kay? Great. There are days when LeBella is in a mood from the get go. It’s this sort of agitated, if-you-look-at-me-I’m going-to-set-you-on-fire state, and it is not pretty. These are our “walking on eggshells in a field of land mines with love” days. On days like these, our number one goal is to keep her happy. It is a group effort. Everyone does their part, and nobody dies. I’m kidding. Well, I hope, we’ve never tested the theory. We just err on the side of caution.
Now, before you fly down to that little comment box and school me on child manipulation and such, please let me tell you. I was the neighborhood babysitter. I helped raise my younger brothers. I teach preschool. I am an expert on child manipulation and I can spot it in a heart beat. (And yes, she tries it, and fails. It’s embarrassing really.) This is a whole different affair all together. On days like these, she seems like a different child. A four foot harpy with a vendetta from the parts of hell that use Barney and Telletubbies as torture devices. It’s scary. Basically, if she wants it she gets it on these days. Cake for breakfast? Absolutely. Complete control of the TV? Have at it. First taste of anything edible that comes out of the kitchen? Be our guest. Luckily, days like these are few and far between. As for every other day, here’s the break down:

Trigger 1: The (dreaded) word “no”: I do everything in my power to give options, alternatives or distractions. I also practice wording everything in the positive. What she CAN do as apposed to what she CAN’T. (And this drives me batty, because, as a mom, naturally “no” is what wants to come out of my mouth 99.9% of the time)

Trigger 2: Unwanted touching: We have rules. One person at a time in the kitchen, walking down the hall, sitting in a chair (don’t ask)..etc concerning the occupancy of any “smallish” area they may use. And we are strict about hands to yourselves. WE don’t hit, therefore no one else is either! Also, I repeat “For the love of all that is good and shiny please don’t touch that girl” 8 million times a day.

Trigger 3: Large groups: Yeah, this is a no brainer. I avoid groups like the plague. Period. In school she is in a contain classroom with no more than 9 students. Daycare has been a nightmare for the last 9 years. We don’t do it anymore. I prefer the brokenness to the misery.

Trigger 4: Using your ‘because-I’m-the-boss-of-you-and-I-said-so’ voice: Basically, everyone who interacts with her knows how to talk to her. Nicely, providing explanations, sometimes manipulating her into thinking things are her own idea….

Trigger 5: Transitioning: This one is pretty much impossible to avoid. I am constantly telling her what plans are coming up. Our day to day activities follow a pattern. Deviating from the pattern freaks her out. I try to stay consistent. I do not inform her of upcoming plans until they are confirmed. Once she expects something, she expects it.

As for her other triggers, we have some tricks of the trade. Routines and consistency are the corner posts of our existence. I thank www.flylady.net for her part in helping us get our routines in place. LeBella has her very own Princess Planner (made with love by Mommy) that breaks down her daily routines for every day. The pages are inside page protectors so she can mark them off with a dry erase marker. I also gave her a step by step break down of how to do her chores (yes she does chores, helps with laundry and helps cook). This notebook gives her a sense of control that she does not naturally possess and reduces her anxiety. We also use a rotating chore chart and behavior charts.

Discipline, punishment, taking things away, “grounding” does not work with this child.At.All. A chance to earn ANY type of reward *cough*bribe*cough* with visual reinforcements get us much farther!

**If a child you love has been diagnosed or shows symptoms of Bipolar Disorder please feel free to join my parent support group by following this link.
**The Motherhood Umbrella is looking for special needs Mama’s to guest post! If you are interested please email me at mommylebron@yahoo.com

Update on LeBella

It’s Bipolar Tuesday once again! Before I post today’s topic about handling triggers, here’s a briefing on what’s been going on:

A few weeks ago LeBella’s psychiatrist sent her for her blood work. She has it done every six months to monitor the levels of medications in her little body and to make sure her tiny liver is handling everything okay. Some medications like; depekote (which she was on) can be very hard on the liver and can cause serious damage if not closely monitored.
She’s so great about getting her blood work done. The very first time was traumatic for everyone involved. After that I sat her down and explained the reasons for it. Her brain is missing some important chemicals it needs to function properly. She takes medication to replace the missing chemicals and she needs blood work to make sure they are working and not making her sick. She’s been a perfect patient ever since (well except for that one incident with Nurse Dumbass.)
Usually I take her to the lab to get the blood work done, then at her next monthly appointment her psychiatrist confirms that he received the results and that’s that. Except this time I received a phone call. Every mother knows this is one of those times you do not appreciate a follow up call from the doctor. The doctor was concerned with some of the results and asked me to come in right away to discuss them. I was a nervous wreck.
We went in to the office the next day. His first concern was that her Depakote levels were high. This indicated that the depekote levels were too high and they would begin stressing her liver. (So we took her off the Depakote.) Depakote is a medication used to control mania in people with bipolar disorder. We did not replace this with another medication since LeBella’s out of school for summer.
The next concern he pointed out was that her T3 (triiodothyronine) and T4 (thyroxine) levels were too high and this indicated there is an issue with her thyroid. The irony of this is that I am just becoming acquainted with my paternal family and my Uncle Donnie gave me the low down on our family’s medical history. Nearly everyone has a thyroid issue! So, we left there with the results and headed to her pediatrician (whom we adore) and he gave us a referral to an endocrinologist.
So, for our next stop we headed out to Orlando. The endocrinologist was extremely nice and very thorough with her explanations. She suspects she has hyperthyroidism but needs additional blood work to confirm. This both good and bad. It’s bad because, obviously, it’s a health issue. It’s good though that we know. The thyroid affects more than a person’s ability to gain or lose weight. Hyperthyroidism can mimic and /or exacerbate bipolar symptoms. Stabilizing her thyroid could, in effect, help stabilize her bipolar symptoms! (For more information on thyroid diseases click here.)
We also went back to see the psychiatrist because LeBella has been unstable all summer and she goes back to school in 2 weeks. (She must be stable while in school!)He increased her Abilify and ordered more blood work to recheck her depekote levels. He wants to put her back on the depekote but I’m not sure how I feel about that…
That brings us to yesterday. I took LeBella back to the lab. Between the two doctors she had to have 10 tubes of blood drawn for tests! She’s such a trooper! I pray between these two great doctors we can come up with a new, more effective treatment plan. I’m tired of seeing my baby so miserable……

Our regularly scheduled BT post will be up later this afternoon. I just needed to get this off my chest…

Posted with love by Mommylebron

Show Me the Money

There are many careers that require great negotiation skills. Such as a lawyer, or a marriage counselor. Real estate agents and personal recruiters need great negotiating skills. Oh, and of course, hostage negotiators (which is what I often feel like). I am proud to say LaBella could nail any one of these jobs for she is the ultimate negotiator. The following conversation is excellent evidence of her wonderful negotiating skills:

LeBella: “Mommy, can I have some cookies?” (This is 5 minutes before dinner, mind you.)
Me: “No, it’s almost time for dinner.”
LaBella: “But I’m starving! I’m gonna starve to deaf!”
Me: “You are not going to starve to death in the next 5 minutes.”
LeBella: “Yes I am! And you don’t even care cuz you don’t love me no more!” (que the dramatic sobbing)
Me: “Why don’t you go set the table, then it will be time to eat?”
LeBella: “No, no, no! I need to eat now! Please, Mommy, just one cookie?”
Me: “Fine, one cookie.” (Let’s face it; I’m never going to get dinner on the table with her sobbing at my feet.)
LeBella: “Oh, thank you, Mommy! Can I just get three?” (Here we go…)
Me: “I said you could have one.”
LeBella: “But I’m starving! I’m gonna starve to deaf!” (I will never win!)
Me: “One cookie will hold you over for 5 minutes.”
LeBella: “But, I’m so hungry my stomach hurts!” (Can you say Drama Queen?)
Me: “I will give you two cookies, that’s it.”
LeBella: “Ok!”

I’m starting to think two cookies was her diabolical plan all along…

Posted with love by Mommylebron