Blog Archives
Mom’s IEP: DS Walker
Hello Ragers! I am very happy to share today’s IEP with you! We are talking with DS Walker, author of Delightfully Different, and a sweet lady I am honored to call a friend. After reading this I hope you will go show her some Rager love!
1. First, tell us a little about your family dynamics and what special needs you have become an expert on.
Our family consists of a teenager girl on the autism spectrum and an almost teenage son who is not on the spectrum. My husband and I are both in the medical profession, yet it still took four years of struggles and getting the wrong diagnosis from more than one doctor before our daughter finally had a full workup; the results a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome at age ten.
This actually brought understanding into our lives as I researched everything I could find on Asperger’s so I could help her learn to cope. The fact that we initially listened to the doctors who misdiagnosed her caused her to have trust issues. She was trying to deal with this and our family was starting to mend when she experienced severe bullying in middle school. This caused a whole different set of issues and I then added the effects of bullying to my research.
2. Mornings are notoriously hard for so many of us. What is the most challenging part of your morning and how do you deal with it?
Thankfully, this is not an issue for us anymore since she now is attending virtual school. This issue affected us more when she was younger, so I learned a long time ago to get up early enough to have my cup of coffee and get myself dressed before I started trying to get her up.
I learned that she needed longer to actually get out of bed, so I had a system of calling her a half hour before she had to get up and every few minutes afterwards until she was able to get out of bed. She also picked out her clothes and packed her backpack the night before which made the mornings go easier.
3. Schedules and routines or surprises and winging it. How do you get through the day?
She has been responsible for a while now, so scheduling is not a problem anymore for us unless something unexpected happens. Then I just try to help her through it by giving her time to vent and blow off steam before we adjust to the change. She is fifteen and we have been aware of her challenges for five years now which helps tremendously. The only times this hasn’t worked is prior to the diagnosis and during the year of the bullying and again when she had to deal with a situation recently indirectly related to the bullying.
However, surprises are definitely something I try to avoid. My husband threw me a surprise birthday party a few years ago, only he forgot to tell her. Big mistake! She did recover from it, but it was not fun.
4. Has your family been supportive? How so, or if not how have you tried to help them understand?
We have some members on both sides of our family who are very supportive and others who are trying to learn how to be more supportive. I have given family members my novel, Delightfully Different and I also gave my in-laws a copy of Tony Attwood’s book The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome and I printed out a copy of information specifically geared toward grandparents that you can view at: http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2008/11/grandparents-of-aspergers-kids.html
I also talk to them about ways they can help and they really are trying. Unfortunately, we also have some family members who seem to avoid us and others who think she is just shy. We remind her that it their loss not hers, but they still have the power to hurt her.
5. Overall, what is the biggest challenge presented by your child’s diagnosis? How do you handle this?
The biggest challenge was getting the correct diagnosis in the first place, but after that the biggest challenge has been helping her overcome the bullying and being misunderstood for so long. Of course, she does still have sensory challenges related to the diagnosis too.
6. What are the most wonderful qualities about your child that wish others could see more of?
She is very smart, has musical talents, and a good heart. I am very proud to call her my daughter.
7. What resources would you recommend to other families in your position?
I recommend Tony Attwood’s book The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome and for those with a girl on the spectrum I also recommend Ruby Simone’s Aspergirls: Empowering Females With Asperger Syndrome and Rachel B. Cohen-Rottenberg’s The Uncharted Path: My Journey with Late-Diagnosed Autism. In addition, I recommend that they explore blogs of those on the spectrum from Autism Blogs Directory to get further insights into their child along with support for themselves. I also recommend that they contact their local Autism Society for resources in their area and that they ask questions and connect with others who have been where they are now.
8. We know that it is important to take care of ourselves to be beneficial to our families. How do you make time for yourself and what are somethings you do that are just for you?
I try to make sure I have a few quiet minutes to myself in the morning to mentally prepare for my day. I also take walks with my dogs and try to find time to read for fun not just for information although interacting with my blogging friends is fun too.
9. What is the single most important post that you have written on your child’s challenges?
I have to say the post I wrote for Danette’s Doors Series at S-O-S Research Blog is the most important post I have written about her challenges. You can find it here http://sos-research-blog.com/02/a-door-to-understanding-bullying-and-teaching-kindness-and-tolerance/
10. Where on the interwebz can my dear Ragers find you so they can steal your ideas learn from your wisdom?
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Thank you so much for joining us today!
June Love Drop
Hey guys! The Love Drop team is at it again! Last month they gave over $9,200 worth of cash, goods and services to their recipient, the Stalnaker family, who had been going through a financially hard time due to the effects of the BP oil spill on the Louisiana economy. The family was in need of a car and the Love Drop team was able to surprise them with one, making it one of the most exciting Love Drops ever. You can watch how it all went down here.
This month they rally behind the Aubins – a Michigan mother and her three children who are mourning the death of Keith, husband and father, after his lengthy battle with multiple health problems. Our goal is to raise at least $3,600 to pay the family’s rent for three months, which will allow them to focus on what they need to during this time, without fear of losing their home. Additionally, since Keith was an organ donor, he leaves a powerful legacy and the Love Drop team hopes to raise awareness of organ donation this month to honor Keith’s memory. Help us make this month special for the Aubins!
Want to help? Here are three ways you can participate:
Give $25 towards rent <– Click this link to contribute $25 towards their rent for the next three months – it will relieve so much stress for them.
Give a gift or service – Gift cards are always helpful. Places like Target, Wal-mart, restaurants, etc would definitely help them out. Services too – especially those you can offer yourselves, or from your company.
Organ donation - We’re giving the Aubin’s the gift of knowing that the people on our team are organ donors. If you are one now, or pledge to be soon, please tell us so, and we’ll relay the total number as a gift at the Drop.
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I really love this organization. Each month Love Drop sets out on a mission to help a family in need and the results have been impressive to say the least. The stories themselves are sometimes heartbreaking like this months….
Here’s what Nate has to say:
I just wanted to let you guys know that we’re about 75% to goal on paying three months of rent for the family we’re helping through Love Drop this month! A bunch of us are pitching in just a little bit each, and we’ve got $2,700 of the $3,600 we need. Hopefully we can get the rest in the next 10 days before we present it to them. (Their story is below, in case you don’t know it.)
This month the Love Drop team is helping out a family in Detroit whose husband/father just passed away last month. There are three teenage kids in the home, and money is really tight, so what we want to do is pay for three months’ rent for them, so they don’t have to worry about it during this tough time right now. Their dad was paralyzed, but he donated his legs after he passed so that others can walk. It’s a touching story, and you can check it out here: http://LoveDrop.us
It Takes A Village To Keep Me Sane
No really, its true.
Lately I have felt overwhelmed and pulled in every direction. I want so much for this little blog of mine, but I can’t seem to ever keep up with myself! During this break of mine I honestly considered calling it quits, which was ironic really seeing that during this break I also hit my one year blogoversary. Just as I had resigned to the fate of Rage Against the {washing} Machine I had a light bulb moment.
What if I ask for help?
So I did just that and I am proud to announce that RAtWM will now be a group effort.
I am so excited to add my lovely writing partner, The Drama Mama as a contributor here. You will find her here on Wednesdays. She is has two kiddos, one of which is diagnosed similarly to LeBella. We have bonded over the last few months and I am honored to call her one of my best friends.
Next up I am so happy to welcome Crystal of No Time To Nap who has a kiddo with ADD and would like to share her stories on Thursdays. Crystal is a great tweep who I enjoy talking with on Twitter all the time. (pssst Crystal, we gotta get you a button sweets)
And last, but certainly not least, I am happy to include my darling Melody of Life’s Twisted Stitch. Mel has three kids, two of which are diagnosed similarly to LeBella. Melody will be joining us monthly!
I will continue to present you with Mom’s IEP’s on Mondays and Bipolar Tuesday on, well, Tuesday.
Thank you ladies so much for keeping me sane(ish)!
Much love Ragers!
Mom’s IEP: How Do You Do It?
As I sit here shoveling cold scrambled eggs into my mouth and brushing the sleep from my eyes I am again awed. I flip through all my favorite special needs blogs and think, not for the first time, How do they do it? There are so many warrior moms out their who just seem so much more put together than me and I want to know their secrets!
So I’m asking you, yes you, to answer the following questions and email them me at mommylebron@yahoo.com
You are a special needs rock star, no need to be modest, tell us your tricks and tips to get through each day, good or bad, and you’ll be featured here! (Ok, humor me and pretend that is a super big deal)
1. First, tell us a little about your family dynamics and what special needs you are an expert on.
2. Mornings are notoriously hard for so many of us. What is the most challenging part of your morning and how do you deal with it?
3. Schedules and routines or surprises and winging it. How do you get through the day?
4. Has your family been supportive? Where else do you find support?
5. Overall, what is the biggest challenge presented by your child’s illness? How do you handle this?
6. What are the most wonderful qualities bout your child that wish others could see more of?
7. What resources would you recommend to other families in your position?
8. We know that it is important to take care of ourselves to be beneficial to our families. How do you make time for yourself and what are somethings you do that are just for you?
9. What is the single most important post that you have written on your child’s illness?
10. Where on the interwebz can my dear Ragers find you so they can steal your ideas learn from your wisdom?
Ok, lovelies! Go now and flood my inbox, I cleaned it out just for you!
Bipolar Tuesday: From the Inside Looking Out
Hello, Ragers! Last week I challenged you to pick one of your child’s moods and to place yourself in their mind. What do you think you’d find there? Write the post from their point of view and come back to link up!
** I will be updating this post in a bit with my story.
