Bipolar Tuesday: The Friend Factor

Before I jump into this week’s Bipolar Tuesday I want to thank Jen again for her Mom’s IEP Post. If you missed it pop over, we’ll wait.

If I had been writing this post a couple months ago it would have a much different tone. LeBella has not had a successful history of making and maintaining friendships. She has a chronic inability to read social ques and body language. Because of this she has constantly fallen on one side of the fence or the other; the bully or the bullied.

Over this past school year LeBella has been home schooled because she was simply not stable enough to attend school. She was also not stable enough to go out in public too much so we did not join any home schooling groups. Honestly, I feel like the break from the pressure of socializing was just what she needed.

And now the break is over.

LeBella has made several friends in the neighborhood, all slightly younger than herself. Over the last few weeks there have been water balloon fights, sleep overs and tea parties. I have watched my formerly friendless daughter whisper with delight, laugh at silly jokes and construct elaborate play scenarios.

There are downsides, little girls tend to squabble quite bit and I have to intervene before LeBella gets overly upset and behaves in a way she’ll later regret. And if they get mad and leave she cries like it is the end of the world making me wondering if its even worth it.

But I know it is. Having friends, no matter how few, is an important part of life.

Having friends has boosted her self-esteem so much and has made her a little more aware of how others perceive her behavior. She has learned how to make and adjust rules and how to share and consider ideas. She has put more effort in keeping her room clean and also began worrying about her personal appearance. Not in a bad way, she is now more inclined to make sure her hair is brushed, her face is clean and so on.

I am not yet comfortable enough to send her to other people’s houses without me, I still have to closely monitor her body language and the subtle ques that tell when she has had enough. I do keep an open door though. As long as she is up to her friends can come over to play in the yard or her room. I try to switch things up evey now and then.

We held an afternoon tea party where the girls got to work on table manners and crafts together. The water balloon fight was a little nerve wracking, at one time being hit by the balloons would have triggered a meltdown while the actual slinging would result in malicious glee. We’ve come a long way. I try to always keep that in mind

What about you, Ragers? Do you have tips and tricks on friendships you’d like to share? Do you have a particular memorable experience of your child making a new friend? Go write the post (or dust off the one you’ve already done) and come link up! The linky will be open all week so you can share your friendship stories.

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Much love,

For the Love of Bloggers

As you guys know we’re going through it over here and

Image by JD | Photography via Flickr

that’s why I haven’t been posting (Sat & Sun’s post only got up because they’d been scheduled). LeBella is still not well and it’s taking all my energy during the day to keep her from falling apart and I’m exhausted now but the lovely Crystal Domestic, But Not Martha had a wonderful idea and I wanted to help spread the love:

Bloggers who want/need some love!

Something that REALLY bothers me is kind, loving, BIG HEARTED bloggers who have really low followers. Now, that being said, though it’s not about the numbers, follower amounts are awesome if high but if they’re low, can crush a blog writer’s spirit before the blog has really developed into their dream or mission for it. I am grateful for EVERY SINGLE blog follower (and FB & Twitter!) that I have and you guys make my life RAD! Please consider stopping by these loveys and saying hi! If you want, follow them and Pay It Forward. I added a link list at the bottom and would LOVE if you’d link up & do a similar blog love list on your blog! The blogging community is one of connecting, uplifting, and bringing joy to one another. Let’s share that! If you want, also follow them on FB, Twitter, etc!

Bloggers who want some love:

Cathy’s Voice

Brilliant Bundles

The Busy Bullocks
aPearantly sew

Darleen & Greg

This Mommyhood
Mojo Mama

On the rocks & straight up

Monica Wants It

The Good, The Bad, & The Family

The House of Huff

Dances with Chaos

The Lungos
Transplanted Thoughts

Things That Make You Say Mom

Organized Chaos

Charmingly Chandler
Shanamama
Last Train to Pooksville
The Colie’s Chronicles
Rags to Stitches
Art & Soul
Symmetric Mom
Mummy Brain
Scampified
Bluebird
My Creative Path
Domestic, But Not Martha
Dana Sears Fam
Designs by Dana Sears
Lia’s Kibbies
Gray Baby Productions
My Twisted Tree
So Cute It Hurts
Sweet Eventide Photography
Creative Outpour

Second Serving Repost from Erin of the Motherload

With the season firmly upon us I think this inspirational post from Erin is timely and appropriate. After reading it, take a minute to think of just one thing you could do. My budget is, well, non existent, but I’m proud to say I have stashed some peanuts and granola bars in my car to hand out when I come across those homeless that are usually around my local grocery store.

(photo courtesy of Amazon.com)

Lately there’s a lot of loud humming in my head. There’s too much of
it this time of year when the toy commercials come on constantly, the newspaper
arrives loaded with extra ads and inserts what a waste of
trees, and the emails for special sales and promotions flood my inbox.
It’s enough to put this girl into a tailspin. And it ain’t pretty, people.

I’ve been reading a lot of posts lately that have made me even more pensive
about life and “stuff“, like this
one on homelessness via Diana
Adams of Bit Rebels. And this one about gratitude
and greed via my friend Amy
Oscar.

I’ve also been thinking about this video, The Story of Stuff,
which you should watch if you haven’t already.

Then my BFF Shelly Kramer of V3 Integrated Marketing and I
went road trippin’ to BFE Bern, Kansas on Saturday to
pick up our cow. You know the one. And if you don’t, go
here to catch up. I’ll wait.

Anycow, we had lots of time in the car to talk, seeing as we took a
few minor detours, including one to, um, Nebraska
(cough, cough). When we came upon this sign

I slammed on the brakes and pulled over freaking out slightly.
Shelly, ever level-headed, got on her phone to call the meat packing plant
for more specific directions (let’s just say country folk don’t get that we
city people aren’t used to going off the grid. My GPS was no help–it
showed us kinda floating on a screen of white space). As we drove,
wide open fields raced past us while a beautiful blue sky floated
gracefully above. Grasses turning dry and brown, trees that seemed naked
with the recent loss of their leaves. I squealed as we passed cattle grazing,
baby calves, deer, and even alpaca!

We talked while we drove through several small farm towns as we neared
Bern. Shelly mentioned how different people’s lives are up there. For example,
Deborah, the woman whose cow we bought, lives in a very small house with her
husband, two kids, and a third on the way. Her kids have no idea what
Gogurt is, and
the abhorrent fruit
snacks my kids are addicted to are completely alien to them. Their nearest
grocery store is a half hour drive away. Deborah and her neighbors stock a
nearby food pantry with essentials so that in a pinch they
can grab what they need: a sack of flour, maybe some sugar,
and perhaps some beans or potatoes. There is no McDonald’s in Bern. There
is no Wal-Mart in Bern. It’s truly all very quaint, simple, and
quiet. Nothing but miles and miles of farmland around, wide open spaces,
and consequently less of a need or desire for the “stuff” the rest of
us constantly crave and find so necessary.

What a different life many of us lead. It’s difficult for me to admit, but
we definitely lead a life of excess. We have not only what we need, but so
much more. I drive a two-year-old minivan that we bought brand new; we live
in a large new house with plenty of space; and our
girls have their own playroom in the basement that’s overflowing with
Barbies, an easel, a doll house, kiddie table & chairs set, a ginormous
dress-up trunk, and a small inflatable bouncy house (thank you very much
for the Craigslist find, Shelly!). We go out to nice meals at
restaurants when we want, go to the movie theater, shop at Banana Republic,
The Gap, Target and Old Navy. We have several different chains of
grocery stores available to us, all within a two or three mile
radius. We take all of this for granted.

Still, we are generous. We donate to many different charities and make
a point of supporting lots of people and organizations in need. I keep granola
bars and packs of peanut butter crackers in my car to hand out to the homeless,
along with the smile Diana Adams talks about in her post. This morning I dropped
off several large bags of clothes, shoes, housewares, etc. at Goodwill. I support Heifer
International and send meaningful gifts to help people
around the world receive training that helps them become self-reliant. Not only
is that being green, it’s not just more “stuff.”

But here I am trying to make all these excuses for myself. When
I’m part of the problem of “stuff.”

As I type this, there’s a closet upstairs where we’re hiding Hanukkah and
birthday gifts for our daughters. Part of me can’t help it. They are still so
young. I’m hopeful we can gradually ease away from this unhealthy obsession and
instead do things like volunteer at shelters or food kitchens someday when they
are older. Maybe rather than giving each other presents, we can commit
to putting that money towards a charity (or a few) we all believe in
and want to support. There are so many in need. I have taught my children about
homelessness and while they clearly don’t fully understand it, they do show
sympathy and they enjoy helping me dole out snacks or put money in a bucket. If
I have my way, within a few years we’ll take gifts to a nearby children’s
hospital to hand out.

And that good feeling, that high I get from helping others? That’s the
only ”stuff” I really need.

Guest Post: Soge Shirts

We met and bonded over a mutual anti-Bieberness. Then I had a change of heart, but luckily our twittership was strong enough to overcome my indiscretion. He makes us giggle and sweetly retweets our endless posts and wittiness, I give you….Tim aka @sogeshirts

The holidays are a great time of year. Spending time with friends, family, and other assorted love ones while taking a break from the daily grind of work can put a smile on anyone’s face. On the other end of the spectrum the holidays can be a bit… difficult.

First there is black Friday or as I like to call it Black Belt Friday. How people can camp out after eating enough thanksgiving food to take down a blue whale I will never know. Then the madness begins as the doors finally open at 3 am and people start battling like they are contestants on the old show American Gladiators. I know everyone wants to make their kids happy but is it really worth it to get a Tickle me newest cuddle doll after you receive a black eye, a couple stitches, and you have to be your own tooth fairy. Besides there are some good deals a few weeks before Thanksgiving.

One thing about the holidays that you can count on is that your sane family members will become crazy and your crazy ones will take it to the next level. (Hint: Take the crazy ones with you if you do decide to go black friday shopping next year.) Often times during the holidays you need to take a little break to get rid of all that stress. Here are some of my tips to help you relax and be jolly this holiday season.

1. Use the fruitcakes that Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Bob brought you again as dumbbells. You know you aren’t going to eat them so you can use them to get fit. Do some fruitcake curls, some fruitcake rows, and some fruitcake benches. If your fruitcake isn’t good enough to work as weights use it as a paperweight.

2. If you are average like me at putting up Christmas lights I would advise you to not put up the lights at all. Face it there is always that one house on the block that is ultra competitive who spends 10,000 dollars a year on all of Santa’s reindeer and both regular Santa and Hawaiian shirt Santa.  Instead of spending an hour on a ladder putting up lights take your kids on a car ride and drive around a few different neighborhoods. You’ll see some really cool light arrangements from the people that have way too much times on their hands.

3. Let’s talk about holiday office parties. Usually they start out fun and then someone has a little too much eggnog and things get awkward. Once one person lets loose a few more join in on the mayhem. Don’t be those people. The boss remembers those people and even if he was partaking in the fun he is likely to still save that in his memory bank for later. Some people say skipping the holiday office party is rude but aren’t the holidays about getting away from those people anyways? Seriously they won’t even notice that you are missing.

4. If you go holiday caroling this year you need to go with a huge pack of people so you can all stay warm. Sing only one song at each house too. You need to keep moving to keep that blood flowing. Also unless you are a great singer you want to sing with other people who aren’t great singers either. If no one is good nobody will notice the one American Idol reject in the bunch. Instead people will be happy that you tried and gave it your best shot.

Happy holidays to you and yours.

–
Timothy Fox
tees for t-shirt lovers
www.sogeshirts.com

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A quick note: I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. I have to get some prep work done for school which I will be starting the first week of January, I’m working on my book, and I’m trying to keep LeBella as sane and happy as humanly possible until she’s the new pdoc (also the first week of January). Not to mention the work I want to do cleaning up this little sweet spot and getting it all ready for the new year. So, I put out a call for help to keep me from looking like a blooser. (Ok I made that up, blogger+looser? Sorry, it’s this thing I do.) I asked them to pick their favorite post from their blog and let me share it with you (KLZ, quick send me a link to your fave). I have a great line up so be sure to pop in!