Bipolar Tuesday: Won’t to Can’t

The past couple of weeks have been a true test of my patience. About a week ago I had an epiphany. It is what it is. Until we get a med adjustment LeBella’s issues are unavoidable. So, how can I make this scenario less stressful for both of us? Simple, I need to change to “Won’t” to “Can’t” and go from there.

Stressor: LeBella won’t stop yelling.

Truth: LeBella can’t stop yelling. (She is a sensory seeker, noise is a favorite.)

Solution 1: I give her opportunities to stretch her vocal cords. We turn on the radio and Living room Karaoke our butts off.

Solution 2:We uses lots of silly voices, high squeaky voices and deep grumbly voices and everything in between.

Stressor: LeBella won’t stop running circles around the house.

Truth: LeBella can’t stop running circles around the house. (When she is manic she’s near to bursting with energy, I swear the air around her vibrates!)

Solution 1: Send her out back. We are fortunate to have a six foot privacy fence, that is locked from the outside. I send her out there and she runs all around until she is sweaty and panting.

Solution 2: Just Dance 2 on the WII. This game has been a Godsend! She loves the songs. After a few songs she has burned up some energy and brought her mood up a few notches.

Stressor: LeBella won’t stopping running away in public.

Truth: LeBella can’t stop running away in public. (She has very poor impulse control and is a notorious eloper.)

Solution 1: Don’t take her out. I try to leave her home when I can, even if that means I have to do shopping at night after she is sleeping. This is hard because I’m use to her being with me everywhere.

Solution 2: Careful planning. I know I can take her out first thing in the morning, she usually wakes up in a good mood.

Stressor: LeBella won’t remember the things she needs to do routinely.

Truth: LeBella can’t remember the things she needs to do routinely.

Solution 1: I made LeBella a control journal, you can read more about that here.

Solution 2: LeBella has a couple “launch pads”, these are areas that are set up ahead of time with items she will need (i.e. all her home school materials are organized and set up in a special spot).

Stressor: LeBella won’t stop touching/hitting everyone.

Truth: LeBella can’t stop touching/hitting everyone. (She is seeking sensory stimulation.)

Solution 1: I provide sensory activities for her such as shaving cream, bubble wrap, playdoh, bubbles and a variety of textured fabrics.

Solution 2: Blanket wrapping. She loves this, we spread her comforter out on the floor, she lays on it and I roll and unroll her repeatedly.(also good: crash pads, compression tunnels and indoor swings)

Thank you to the following lovely ladies for your input: @Heatherlisa82, @Jennyannfraser, @JenTroester, @tiredmommyof4, @TheRealDaniG

If you have any other issues that you need ideas for or you have more ideas for the issues listed please leave a comment!

Bipolar Tuesday: Voices From the Front

Cover via Amazon

I borrowed today’s title from a chapter of The Bipolar Child: The Definitive and Reassuring Guide to Childhood’s Most Misunderstood Disorder — Third Edition, as it seemed appropriate.

Today I will be sharing with you a brief interview with Meg, of Raising Bipolar. Meg is raising a teenage son, Ryan who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 6 and the diagnosis was confirmed at 12. Be sure to visit her at her blog and let her know she has lots of support and understanding!

 

1. In general what do you  find to be the biggest issue that bipolar disorder poses to your family?

The biggest issue we find with our son having Bipolar I is that our son needs a great deal of attention and assistance and this can be physically, emotionally and financially draining.  People in the ‘outside’ world really have no idea how much effort goes into just keeping him safe and sane and functioning well enough to where he appears fine to most of the people he encounters.  And ironically, as a teen he needs much more care and assistance than he did as a younger child.  But this is due to his bipolar symptoms really coming forth more with the teen years and the hormone fluctuations.

2. What do you find to be your most successful strategy in dealing with the issue?

We find our life works best right now with me staying home full time and homeschooling our son.  This requires a great deal of financial sacrifice as well as other sacrifices but we find it is worth it.  We found that regular school, even with a lengthy IEP, was a huge stress for him that triggered all kinds of problems (rages, psychosis, etc) and we could not keep him stable while in public school.  I will say, though, that this really did not become a problem until middle school.  But middle school is very different than elementary school in so many ways and that environment was toxic for our son.

3. What are some of the most wonderful qualities your child possess that you wish others could see more often?

Our son has a million wonderful qualities and luckily this is what people see most often when they see him.  He is funny, mostly outgoing, athletic, inquisitive, engaging, and the list goes on and on. Because he is an only child and because we spend so much time and energy helping him at home and ‘behind the scenes’ most people only see the positive sides of him and that is good.   And when they do see him act out or struggling most of them already know he is bipolar and so they fairly understanding.   And if they aren’t, we don’t need them in our lives anyway.

If you could make on change to your child’s IEP, what would it be?

We don’t use an IEP anymore because we homeschool but when he was in public school he had nearly every accommodation available.  Extended time, mark in the book, read aloud, separate testing area, preferred seating, etc.  And they were all important.  In middle school all of the accommodations in the world were not enough for him as the classes were big (some 30+ kids and the small class assistance he had in elementary school had been cut from budget cuts) and not all of the teachers followed the IEP.  Also, the changing of classes, changing of teachers, overwhelmed teachers, the immaturity of the kids, social issues (girls/boys/sex/drugs/fights) all proved to be too much for him.  However, were he to have stayed in public school I think the most important IEP accommodations would be to have a safe place for him to go in the school that is quiet when he gets overwhelmed and the ability to turn in late assignments and get credit for them.

4. What is the most important aspect of raising a bipolar child?

Keeping a positive attitude.  It can be hard but it’s really important.  These kids struggle more than most parents will ever realize. They deal with internal battles and thought dysfunction that most parents will never understand.  And they also take on the emotions, stress and struggle of those around them as their own.  So, as hard as it can be, as a parent it is really important to keep your own emotions in check and model positive, strong, consistent and low emotion behavior.  It makes a huge difference in how your child or teen reacts to the world around them and how safe they feel, and how safe they feel directly impacts their behavior and attitude.

***                     ***                 ***                         ***               ***

Meg, thank you so much for sharing with us. I know for me, it’s reassuring to know that other families are going through the same things and it helps to know what’s working and what challenges there are.  xoxo

Bipolar Tuesday: The “L” Word Feels Final

It’s not that I doubt LeBella’s diagnosis. I know that for us, Early Onset Bipolar Disorder is a reality. I knew this is what we were dealing with before the first doctor said so.

I know that medication is so much trial and error, and we have tried so many. Sometimes we get nothing, sometimes we get a scare, and often? We get super fabulous wonderfulness….that only lasts for a limited time. ANd so we try again…and again…

Even knowing all this, I still felt a sense of…finality? When the pdoc dropped the “L” word.

Lithium.

I had all ready done extensive research on it. I had considered it our last option, our fall back when everything else fails.

When you (or most people) think of bipolar disorder, Lithium tends to come to mind. So, for me, this makes everything more real, more final.

So we started the Lithium last week.

I haven’t seen a great improvement, really she’s been crazy manic but not so mean most of the week. We go back to the pdoc tomorrow to adjust levels as needed and we’ll go from there.

After my thoughts settled down, I confess to myself that there is no finality yet. Nothing else is working now. That doesn’t mean something else won’t work better later.

How about you? How do you feel about your child’s treatment? Did you have a moment like this, where you felt overwhelmed by finality?

If you or someone you love is raising a child with bipolar disorder please let them know they can find support and resources at www.bpkids.org as well as my online support group: My Kid’s Bipolar, Now What??

Related Articles

• What Can I Do to Help My Bipolar 12-Year-Old? (everydayhealth.com)

Bipolar Tuesday: Ring Around My Sanity

Ring around the rosie

A pocketful of posies

Ashes, Ashes

We all fall down!

Doesn’t that song just put visions of cherubic little angles with freckles and pig tails in your head.

Whatever.

Here’s our version:

Ring around my mommy

Because I think it’s funny

Dashes, dashes

We all run away!

I’m telling you, since LeBella learned to walk she has been running circles around everyone and everything!

In daycare and at school she would/will run around desks, tables, other students.

At home it’s the car, the love seat and the dining room table.

I know what you’re thinking, “Um, hello, Mommylebron, just don’t chase her.”

Not an option.

When she’s in “Elopement Mode” she has an objective.

Her objective is: Away.

Away=Outside. Roads. Traffics. The ability to blend into the neighbor’s shrubs with or without the aid of camouflage.

If she manages to get Away (and she has) chasing is no longer an option. That just leads to Further Away.

(Did I mention I am not a runner??)

She rarely has a reason. She just gets all impulsive and twitchy, then it’s on. Usually there are tell tale signs. This is a good thing because otherwise we skip the game of Ring Around Mommy and go straight to the objective.

I usually have to dig deep at this point. I can’t show that I’m agitated because she feeds into that. So I go for positive redirection.

“Hey, baby girl, wanna go blow bubbles.”\

Negative.

“Chacha moo moo, wanna draw a picture?”

Negative. Sigh.

“Lala? Want to eat mommy’s Dove ice cream with the super yummy ganache on top?”

Bingo.

And all is right with the LeWorld again.

Except I have no ice cream now.

 

**In the event that your child runs away and you are not confident in your ability to keep them safe you should immediately call 911. Inform the operator that your child suffers from mental illness and is not acting rationally. If this is a habitual event with your child you may want to find out if your local police department has a specially trained Crisis Officer and make them familiar with your families situation.

Related Articles

• Bipolar at Age 2? (everydayhealth.com)
• Keeping Track of Bipolar Medical Records (everydayhealth.com)

Bipolar Tuesday: Blood Work, It’s Routine Baby

I took Jasmeen aka LeBella to see her new pdoc last Friday. It went really well. She (the pdoc) listen to us (both) and she seems very well informed. We came up with a plan and will meet again next week. The first To Do item on our plan for world domination getting Jasmeen stable was blood work. She order a full panel so we can check for any additional issues that can contribute to her instability.

So, at the butt crack of dawn very early yesterday morning I got up and drove Jasmeen to the lab. The same lab as last time.

I was little annoyed at first because I let the receptionist know we were having a rough morning. She was still sleepy, hungry (fasted blood testing) and not medically stable. I asked to get her in quickly to avoid a meltdown. She very loudly informed me we would have to wait our turn just like everyone else. Luckily a nurse that is familiar with us spotted Jasmeen and ushered us back.

Jasmeen took charge of the signing in process; providing her name, birthday, address etc. When she handed over the lab orders she asked, “How many times are you going to shot me?” She was told there would only be one needle. “How many tubes of blood?” Five.Two big, three small.

We get to “the chair” and it’s showtime.

Jasmeen: “You can take blood from my left arm and you can only use a butterfly needle.”

Nurse: Raises eyebrows but says nothing.

Jasmeen: “You are to take five tubes of blood. Two big, three small.”

Nurse: Looks very surprised. “Who told you that?”

Jasmeen: “The other lady.”

Nurse: “Why?”

Jasmeen: “Because I asked.”

At this point Jasmeen is looking at the nurse like she is an idiot and clearly doubts her ability because she goes on to say:

Jasmeen: “Please double check your list and make sure it is really five tubes. Last time I had blood taken they messed up and I had to get shotted twice.” pause “That happened here.”

God I love that girl.