Bipolar Tuesday: The “L” Word Feels Final

It’s not that I doubt LeBella’s diagnosis. I know that for us, Early Onset Bipolar Disorder is a reality. I knew this is what we were dealing with before the first doctor said so.

I know that medication is so much trial and error, and we have tried so many. Sometimes we get nothing, sometimes we get a scare, and often? We get super fabulous wonderfulness….that only lasts for a limited time. ANd so we try again…and again…

Even knowing all this, I still felt a sense of…finality? When the pdoc dropped the “L” word.

Lithium.

I had all ready done extensive research on it. I had considered it our last option, our fall back when everything else fails.

When you (or most people) think of bipolar disorder, Lithium tends to come to mind. So, for me, this makes everything more real, more final.

So we started the Lithium last week.

I haven’t seen a great improvement, really she’s been crazy manic but not so mean most of the week. We go back to the pdoc tomorrow to adjust levels as needed and we’ll go from there.

After my thoughts settled down, I confess to myself that there is no finality yet. Nothing else is working now. That doesn’t mean something else won’t work better later.

How about you? How do you feel about your child’s treatment? Did you have a moment like this, where you felt overwhelmed by finality?

If you or someone you love is raising a child with bipolar disorder please let them know they can find support and resources at www.bpkids.org as well as my online support group: My Kid’s Bipolar, Now What??

Related Articles

• What Can I Do to Help My Bipolar 12-Year-Old? (everydayhealth.com)

Bipolar Tuesday: Soothing Techniques

 

Image by Pink Sherbet Photography via Flickr

LeBella gets worked up. Often. Sometimes it’s just an “out of sorts” deal, and sometimes it’s a full on rage. A rage includes lots of cursing, crying and breaking of things. We have all learned various ways of avoiding some of her triggers (though the boys sometimes do it on purpose, because, hello, brothers). But we’re no saints and we can’t walk on egg shells 24/7. I also recognize the importance of LeBella learning to deal with her emotions. That all being said here are my top 6  methods of helping LeBella calm down and soothe her achy soul:

Run the Mommy Checklist: This was one of first Parenthood Lessons, though we may not realize how long it’s relevant. Is she hungry? Tired? Uncomfortable? Did she get her meds on time? Is she feeling okay? A snack or some down time might be just what the mommy ordered!
A brisk walk around the block: Sometimes her agitation is due to too much energy, sometimes she just needs a change of scenery or to be separated from who/whatever is agitating her.
A warm/bath: She has some definite sensory issues that we are working on in OT. When she is out of control due to over-stimulation a warm bath does the trick. If she needs a little bit more than that, I’ll wash her hair for her. Why? Have you ever had your hair washed in a salon? If so, you know how incredibly relaxing it is.
Give her some blank paper and crayons (or markers, whatever): At times her little mind is like a cyclone. It’s spinning, nearly out of control, sucking in whatever’s near by and spitting things out with vigor. Drawing gives her an outlet for some of those thoughts. And, by the way, I didn’t come up with this metaphor myself. I once asked her to draw me a picture of how she felt inside and that’s basically what she drew.
Occupy her hands and mind: sometimes a little busy work helps her get re-centered. A small puzzle, play doh, lacing activities and legos.
Breathing: I have taught LeBella to use breathing techniques to help calm her body and bring an accelerated heart rate back down to normal. She still needs reminders but I know eventually this will become a nature response for her.

I am always looking for more ways to improve my parenting and give my children the best possible tools for life. I recently came across an article on Ezine Articles about Emotional Freedom Technique. I have recently become a believer in the power of positive thinking (Thank you MiscMama) and I look forward to learning (and sharing) more about this technique!

Posted with love by Mommylebron

Related Articles

• How to Keep Your Cool: 12 Tips for Staying Calm Under Pressure (dumblittleman.com)
• Judith Acosta, LISW, CHT: ‘Kid Whispering’: Keeping Children Safe With Verbal First Aid (huffingtonpost.com)
• How ADHD Affects Emotional Development (brighthub.com)

Bipolar Tuesday: Planning Prevents Pandemonium

Most adults need a little routine. In general children thrive when there is structure. In my reality pandemonium ensues when there is no routine and structure. This is a rule without exception. For a long time I convinced myself I was the Queen of Winging It. And anyone who knows me IRL will tell you I can run crisis control like a mofo. Why? Simple: Practice makes perfect.
As LeBella’s IEP began coming together I realized I needed to be doing more at home. I decided to start with myself, so I could lead by example. After only a few creative Google searches (“How to be a Good Mom” “Supermom” “How to be a Housewife” “Being Organized” “How not to end up in an Insane Asylum”) I came across FlyLady and I was instantly hooked! (But that’s a post for another day!) I began pulling myself together, and then I focused on everyone else.
I came up with a chore chart for the kids. I took the 6 simplest chores and set it up so they each did 2 a day. The chores rotate daily so every does every chore at least twice during the week. They kids actually loved this! That was about 4 years ago. We still have the very same chore chart up on the fridge but the kids know the rotation by heart.
I also began setting up a weekly plan. We always run errands and go to doctor’s appointments on Mondays, for instance. We do groceries on Sunday afternoons. I try to avoid “running around” everyday. It makes LeBella very anxious.
We have set daily schedules. Meal time, homework time, outside play; everything is planned and everyone knows what to expect. I worried that we were living too structured, but even our daily schedule has “down time” included. When we deviate from our set routines EVERYbody notices.
LeBella has her own “Princess Planner” which is an adaptation of FlyLady’s Control Journal that I prettied up with some clip art and scrap booking materials. Inside her pretty 3-ring binder she has all her routines in page protectors so she can mark them of with a dry erase marker as she goes through the day.
We also meal plan every week and place meals (and any other important info) on our large dry erase calendar. It sounds like a lot when you break it down but really, we’re talking minutes of planning that prevents hours of chaos!

If you are raising a child like LeBella I cannot stress the importance of having set routines. You will find yourself with fewer battles to pick from and your will be building your child’s independence and self-esteem in a natural way. You are also teaching your child time management. A very important Life Skill. And the bonus? You will be less stressed. At times your house will feel like it runs itself.
Routines create a sense of security in your home. When children can predict what’s happening next they are less anxious and more compliant. Have a set routine for children to follow boost their sense of independence and raises self-esteem. I want our home to be an oasis, a safe place to escape from the craziness of the world. Behind these doors my family is safe and secure, and that’s how they should feel.

For more ideas on creating your own routines visit:
www.flylady.net
www.homeroutines.com

http://organizedhome.com/household-notebook/

http://www.totallytogetherjournal.com/the-daily-7-for-a-highly-successful-household/

http://www.habithacker.com

*Interested in a custom planner for your child(ren)? Email me for more information: mommylebron@yahoo.com

Here’s where all the hoppin’ is happenin’ (if you’d like to follow me via GFC there’s a link to the right *pointing->*)

Posted with love by Mommylebron

Bipolar Tuesday: Signs & Symptoms PLUS FMBT

*If you’re stopping by from Follow Me Back Tuesday, Welcome!! Bear with me, today’s post is more lengthy than usual because this is important information! Please pop around a little! If you’re looking for a laugh go read “Not Me Monday: Road Rage, Divorce, Public Urination and Kiddie Jail”(http:mommylebron.wordpress.com/2010/07/12/not-me-Monday-road-rage-divorce-public-urination-and-kiddie-jail/). Or, if it’s a tear jerker you need check out “Bipolar Tuesday Book Review: My Bipolar Roller Coast Feelings Book” (http://mommylebron.wordpress.com/2010/06/08/bipolar-tuesday-my-kids-bipolar-now-what-book-review/). And finally, if you need any reminder that nothing is more important than a mother’s intuition go read “A Young Mother’s Intuition” (http://mommylebron.wordpress.com/2010/05/13/a-young-mothers-intuition/). And thank you for coming by! Much Love!
* Go to http://boobiesbabiesblog.blogspot.com to link up to FMBT!
Bipolar Tuesday

So, you’re chillin’ in the check out line at Walmart when your darling little one starts throwing a tantrum of earth shattering proportions. Suddenly you remember a fabulous post written by Mommylebron (http://mommylebron.wordpress.com/2010/05/25/dont-judge-me/) and you wonder, “But how did she know?” I mean all kids throw tantrums and can act slightly psychotic at times, right? So, what makes a kid bipolar? When do you know you’ve crossed that invisible line between a difficult child and a child who is suffering from mental illness? So, I give you:

The Signs and Symptoms of Early Onset Bipolar Disorder
(Credit for this list of symptoms goes to Demitri Papolos, M.D., and Janice Papolos authors of “The Bipolar Child: The Definitive Guide to Childhood’s Most Misunderstood Disorder”)

Very Common:
Separation Anxiety: LeBella essentially grew up in daycare (where I worked) she was ok as an infant and young toddler, however, by the time she turned 2 she was out of control and she stayed with me (I taught prek 3’s & 4’s). When she left me to start VPK it was horrible! She would cry and rage. I thought kindergarten would be worse but by then she had started medication and LeArtist was always near by. (they are extremely close)
Rages and explosive temper tantrums: These are scary. To see my child so out of control, so furious, and often over something very small. You can expect broken, well, whatever’s nearby, holes in walls and doors and possible injuries. To hear the words that come out of her mouth during a rage you would think she was raised by sailors!
Marked irritability: Her face almost looks different, likes there’s another, angrier child lurking there, waiting to be triggered. This is the state I am constantly on the look out for. Because if I don’t catch it and try to alleviate it, otherwise we end up with a rage (see above).
Opposition/defiant disorder: LeBella can not tolerate being told what to do. I have learned how to phrase requests so they don’t upset her, but more importantly I give her tools to help her do what she needs to without being told. I am trying to raise her to be self motivated and able to anticipate what she needs to do. I hope this will help her have less problems as an adult.
(Rapid Cycling) Severe changes in mood. Sometimes very silly, happy and hyper, other times very angry, or easily irritated or aggressive. These moods can change over several days, within a single day or (if you want to keep things really exciting like us) within an hour!
Racing thoughts: with a mouth to match. Last night LeBella talked to me for 45 minutes. Straight. I’m not sure if she even stopped for breaths. I never got more than one word at a time in. Mostly I nodded or relied upon my vast inventory of facial expressions. She probably covered 57 topics, without ever missing a beat. Here’s an excerpt:
“…then we could cut up the hot dogs for a recipe and share it with people like Santa share’s toys, and I wonder what I’m getting for Christmas, don’t you? Then it won’t be so hot like it is now and that gave me the rash that is almost gone and I’m glad because it’s almost time to go back to school and I can’t wait to go back because I want to meet my teacher, do you think she will be nice? Will I be packing my lunch? What are we having for lunch tomorrow? Do we have any plans tomorrow? Can we go to the library? Hey remember…..” (I was thinking how exhausting it must be to be her sometimes!)
Aggressive Behavior: Did I mention that she was kicked out of 3 preschools and in kindergarten she was suspended about once a week? She’s highly “reactive”, if someone bumps her she will knock them down.
Distractibility: This is not always a bad thing. Her distractibility makes it easier to head off her rages.
Hyperactivity: I constantly refer to her as a hurricane, though I think tornado is more appropriate. I swear sometimes when she really gets going it feels like the air around her vibrates.
Impulsivity: This one scares the crap out of me. This is where darting into traffic and other unsafe behavior comes into play.
Restlessness/fidgetiness: This goes hand in hand with the hyperactivity in my opinion. She is constantly in motion. If she’s sitting with a book she will be tapping her foot and playing with her hair. And shifting, always shifting.
Risk-taking behaviors: Running to traffic, opening the doors in a moving car, jumping off of high surfaces, sneaking out bedroom windows. At night. During a storm. Since she was 4ish.
Elation as represented by periods of extremely silly, giddy, or goofy behavior: This is also the Period of Wet Kisses and Big Squeezes.
Night Terrors: I can’t say 100% if LeBella has these because she will rarely share her dreams with anyone. Though she has recapped a doozie or two.
Difficulty falling asleep: I remember those long, exhausting nights. She could bounce off the walls unitl 12, 1, 2 in the morning. I remember crying. A lot. Now she’s asleep by 8:30 every night (meds).
Difficulty getting up in the morning (sleep inertia): Here’s an interesting fact: LeBella was late to school 85% of the school year last year.
(Grandiosity) Marsha, Marsha, Marsha…they think they are the Master of the Universe and we are all their lowly servants. Or they think they’re a super hero (like for reals) and nothing can hurt them. LeBella once did a Kamikaze jump off the 4’ kitchen counter. She bruised a bone in her foot and was on crutches for 2 weeks. Natural consequences trump punishment every time!
Periods of low energy and withdrawal: I see this mostly in the morning time. She’s sluggish and just doesn’t want to be bothered.
Low-self esteem: Her weight has been a constant issue. She is always comparing herself to everyone else and pointing out how she “falls short”. We always try to tell her how she’s beautiful and smart and funny.
Carbohydrate cravings: And here I thought she got that from me! Her and I are not big meat eaters but bring on the pasta, cereal, bread, etc!
Hoarding or avidly collecting objects or food: When I clean her room you wouldn’t believe some of the stuff I find! Fruit snacks stashed under the bed and what not. She also “hoards” papers. School work, art work, random scribbled on papers. If I try to get her to throw them away she acts like I’m asking her to sacrifice her first born! So, I have to sneak things into the trash when she’s, you know, distracted.
Lying to avoid consequences of his or her actions: Oh Em Gee. This frustrates me to no end because I can WATCH her do something and then have her deny it and fall apart and start with the “You don’t love me, everybody hates me” drama queen movie of the week act.
Easily humiliate or shamed: This one is so hard. You can’t tease her about anything, ever. She takes everything to heart no matter how it is said.
Complains of body temperature extremes: She is always hot, hot, too hot, mom I’m hot, turn on/down the air, fan me, can I take a shower, I’m sooo hot!
Hallucinations and delusions: When we first moved into this house LeBella refused to sleep in her room. She said there was a “blue boy” in there who kept trying to bite her toes. Several times during the day she would shriek and come running out saying the “blue boy” was in there. Eventually “blue boy” faded away, but if I mention him she gets scared.

**Still there?**
Common:

Rapid or pressured speech: I actually recorded a portion of her “monologue” and sent it to LeNana so she could see what I was talking about! And this is a regular thing with her.
Hypersexuality: Luckily, she still thinks boys are gross, lol, however, she does have a strong desire to look “fashionably cute” and I’m teaching her what I consider to be “too fresh”. She also dances too provocatively and we’re working on that.
Obsessive behavior: LeBella has to have certain dishes, cups, and silverware at meals. Seriously. Every time.
Compulsive behavior: Her clothes always have to fit a certain way or she won’t wear them. Sleeves cannot be fitted on her upper arms and she will only wear low rise shorts, pants, and skirts. Socks must feel just right.
Excessive daydreaming: Maybe, if she was less talkative she would be a daydreamer, but I think she pretty much speaks all her thoughts.
Learning Disabilities: We are still testing to define if and what learning disabilities she may have. She performs poorly in class, but tests very well.
Poor working memory: This one’s tricky. She can remember things from when she was 3. In preschool she could remember what kind of shoes every kid in her class wore. But she forgets words. She will describe around a word until I provide it.
Lack of organization: To help with this I have made her a Princess Planner among other tools. I will be writing more about those next week.
Fascination with gore or blood or morbid thoughts: LeBella once decorated 5 of her Bratz dolls to look like Chucky. (Don’t ask)
Manipulative behavior: Thank goodness for my Momdar! It takes a skilled eye, and mind, and heart to tell the difference from her bipolar symptoms and pure child manipulation.
Extremely bossy behavior with friends/bullying: Check! More bullying because making friends is a bit of an issue.
Self-mutilating behaviors: Thank goodness this is not an issue. I am glad to know that I should watch for it though.
Destruction of property: It’s amazing the things a little girl can break when she puts her mind to it!
Suicidal thoughts: When my 4 ½ year old daughter pulled a knife out of a drawer, held it to her wrist and said, “I want to kill myself” I knew it was time to get help. She still gets suicidal when she’s depressed but we talk through it.
Paranoia: Most days LeBella will come home from school and tell me about all her perceived slights from the other students.

Less Common:

Bedwetting: We have finally conquered this beast! And to celebrate LeBella got a new mattress!
Bingeing/eating disorders: I worry that this might be an issue in the future. As she hits puberty and her body image because more of an issue for her. I am trying very hard to raise her self-esteem now.
Motor and vocal tics: None of these so far. I do watch for them because some medications can cause these as well.
Cruelty to animals: LeBella loves animals, she finds them soothing, I think.

Do you think this may apply to your child? There are a couple wonderful online questionnaires that you can take to get a clearer picture. This is not a replacement for profession intervention, merely a reassurance that its time to get help.

To access the questionnaires go to:
www.bipolarchild.com/survey/bcq.html

http://www.jbrf.org/cbq/thank_you.html

http://www.jbrf.org/interview/index.html

I sincerely hope this information helps you pr someone you love. Or maybe makes a little more aware and sympathetic towards that mom in Walmart who appears to have no control over her minions.

*If you would like to be a Guest Post on The Motherhood Umbrella please visit the Be My Guest page!

Posted with love by Mommylebron

Bipolar Tuesday: Walking on Eggshells in a Field of Land Mines, With Love

Okay, back to the regularly schedule mayhem that is “Bipolar Tuesday”. I’m so greedy, I only give it to you once week even though I bask in the splendor daily…..
Last week I went over some of LeBella’s triggers and some of you probably wonder how I am still sane, I’m not sure. I mean, I’m not sure if I’m actually still sane…that’s why I’m here…*crickets chirping* aaaand nevermind…So, I promised you this week I would let you know how we try to avoid these triggers, and how we deal with them when they rear they’re crazy ugly heads. So, here goes….
I’m going to make a confession right off the bat. I only ask that you don’t judge us, because unless you’ve been there…just don’t judge us, ‘kay? Great. There are days when LeBella is in a mood from the get go. It’s this sort of agitated, if-you-look-at-me-I’m going-to-set-you-on-fire state, and it is not pretty. These are our “walking on eggshells in a field of land mines with love” days. On days like these, our number one goal is to keep her happy. It is a group effort. Everyone does their part, and nobody dies. I’m kidding. Well, I hope, we’ve never tested the theory. We just err on the side of caution.
Now, before you fly down to that little comment box and school me on child manipulation and such, please let me tell you. I was the neighborhood babysitter. I helped raise my younger brothers. I teach preschool. I am an expert on child manipulation and I can spot it in a heart beat. (And yes, she tries it, and fails. It’s embarrassing really.) This is a whole different affair all together. On days like these, she seems like a different child. A four foot harpy with a vendetta from the parts of hell that use Barney and Telletubbies as torture devices. It’s scary. Basically, if she wants it she gets it on these days. Cake for breakfast? Absolutely. Complete control of the TV? Have at it. First taste of anything edible that comes out of the kitchen? Be our guest. Luckily, days like these are few and far between. As for every other day, here’s the break down:

Trigger 1: The (dreaded) word “no”: I do everything in my power to give options, alternatives or distractions. I also practice wording everything in the positive. What she CAN do as apposed to what she CAN’T. (And this drives me batty, because, as a mom, naturally “no” is what wants to come out of my mouth 99.9% of the time)

Trigger 2: Unwanted touching: We have rules. One person at a time in the kitchen, walking down the hall, sitting in a chair (don’t ask)..etc concerning the occupancy of any “smallish” area they may use. And we are strict about hands to yourselves. WE don’t hit, therefore no one else is either! Also, I repeat “For the love of all that is good and shiny please don’t touch that girl” 8 million times a day.

Trigger 3: Large groups: Yeah, this is a no brainer. I avoid groups like the plague. Period. In school she is in a contain classroom with no more than 9 students. Daycare has been a nightmare for the last 9 years. We don’t do it anymore. I prefer the brokenness to the misery.

Trigger 4: Using your ‘because-I’m-the-boss-of-you-and-I-said-so’ voice: Basically, everyone who interacts with her knows how to talk to her. Nicely, providing explanations, sometimes manipulating her into thinking things are her own idea….

Trigger 5: Transitioning: This one is pretty much impossible to avoid. I am constantly telling her what plans are coming up. Our day to day activities follow a pattern. Deviating from the pattern freaks her out. I try to stay consistent. I do not inform her of upcoming plans until they are confirmed. Once she expects something, she expects it.

As for her other triggers, we have some tricks of the trade. Routines and consistency are the corner posts of our existence. I thank www.flylady.net for her part in helping us get our routines in place. LeBella has her very own Princess Planner (made with love by Mommy) that breaks down her daily routines for every day. The pages are inside page protectors so she can mark them off with a dry erase marker. I also gave her a step by step break down of how to do her chores (yes she does chores, helps with laundry and helps cook). This notebook gives her a sense of control that she does not naturally possess and reduces her anxiety. We also use a rotating chore chart and behavior charts.

Discipline, punishment, taking things away, “grounding” does not work with this child.At.All. A chance to earn ANY type of reward *cough*bribe*cough* with visual reinforcements get us much farther!

**If a child you love has been diagnosed or shows symptoms of Bipolar Disorder please feel free to join my parent support group by following this link.
**The Motherhood Umbrella is looking for special needs Mama’s to guest post! If you are interested please email me at mommylebron@yahoo.com