Blog Archives
Author Guest Post: Madeline Sharples
Ragers, today I am both pleased and saddened to share this guest post with you. Madeline lost her son to mental illness and she is now speaking up for families everywhere. You know how I feel about the stigma around mental illness and so I give you…
Does the Stigma of Mental Illness Still Exist?
A few months ago my cousin came to our house to review and discuss the family history my husband had been writing. After reviewing the material he made one request – leave out the part about his father’s bipolar disorder. In fact he didn’t want to see any discussion of any of the mental illness that permeates my side of our family.
That was proof enough for me that the stigma of mental illness still exists.
Although my husband did not mention our family’s mental illness in the history, I openly discussed my grandmother’s, uncle’s, and mother’s mental illness in my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On, and that I believe that their genes passed on bipolar disorder to my son.
Genetics is one of the biological causes of mental illness; others could be brain defects or prenatal damage. There are also psychological and environmental causes that can trigger this illness if a person is susceptible. The more we know about the causes of mental illness and the more we are attuned to the fact that the unusual behaviors of mentally ill people is a symptom and not the cause, the easier it will be to erase the stigma associated with it.
Stigma can be exhibited in several ways: bullying, negative remarks, calling a mentally ill person crazy, portraying a mentally ill person as a sociopath or violent in films and television, or characterizing a mentally ill person as weak and stupid.
As Glenn Close, who has a sister with bipolar disorder and a nephew with schizoaffective disorder, says, “What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, more unashamed conversation about illnesses that affect not only individuals, but their families as well.” To that end she created the bringchange2mind organization http://www.bringchange2mind.org. Its mission is:
1) Provide people who have misconceptions about mental illness quick and easy access to information that combats stigma
2) Provide people who have mental illness, and those who know them quick and easy access to information and support.
A recent Mayo Clinic article stated that progress has been made in removing the stigma of mental illness and mental health disorders, but agrees that it is still a real problem for people who have mental illness. I know what a problem it was for my son. He worked for almost two years for a internet provider, and when they heard of the reason for his death his co-workers were shocked to know he had any illness whatsoever. He was a master at hiding his bipolar symptoms. He didn’t want to take his meds, he didn’t accept needed hospitalizations, he just tired to act as “normal” as he could. And that is probably what killed him. If he had taken the Mayo Clinic’s advice geared to erasing stigma – admit something is wrong, don’t feel ashamed, seek and follow treatment and support, accept help from family and friends – he might still be alive today.
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Tomorrow on ALL I will be sharing a review and giving away a copy of Madeline’s book “Leaving the Hall Light On“.
Visit her blogs at:
http://madeline40.blogspot.com/
and
http://www.redroom.com/member/madeline40
Growing Up: The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful
LeBella woke up before me this morning and as I pulled my reluctant eyelids apart I noticed her standing there grinning at me.
After the initial creepiness wore off, suspicion set in. (I don’t care how cute your kid is, being stared at until you wake up is just plain creepy.)
“Oh good, Mommy, you’re awake.”
My Mother’s Eye roves slowly over her person looking for even the tiniest sign of mischief. If it’s there we find it.
Suddenly I notice her hair.
It is not only brushed, but even styled!
Internally I both cheer and shed a tear. For the most part, I have always enjoyed brushing and styling her hair. It has always been a little act of bonding for us. Of course at times it has also been considered a instigation of war. LeBella has an inhuman knack for knot development and brushing those bad boys out can take a great deal of time and tears. But she loves the way her hair looks and feels when it’s all brushed out.
“I brushed my own hair.” This statement is laced with both pride and surprise. She constantly doubts her abilities and this small victory is a boost for her wavering self esteem. She smiles and gives me a little princess wave. I immediately notice her neon pink nails and I smile back.
“You painted your nails, too.”
“Yes, and I did it all by myself.”
So, why I am I telling you this? I know, your kid probably started brushing her own hair at 2. Or, maybe yours is not there yet and I’m rubbing salt in the wound. Uh, yeah, sorry. You’ll get there.
The reason I’m telling you is because she is has been in a great mood all day.
Did you know that good hygiene habits foster self esteem? If you have a child with illnesses like LeBella’s (Bipolar Disorder, Asperger’s, ADHD) then you are most likely familiar with the dips their self esteem can take.
“I’m ugly.”
“This medicine made me fat.”
“Nobody likes me.”
They have such a hard time seeing the perfect, sweet child that you see.
So what can I do to help her keep up with those hygiene activities that build up her self esteem? Like with everything else it’s all about having the right tools. (Side note: “right” does not mean “expensive” I can build my kid’s self esteem from the Dollar Tree.) Here are just a few ideas:
A hair brush and a toothbrush in her favorite color:
A fun toothpaste:
Fun hair ties:
Fun nail polish (if you allow it):
I found this simple article the other day and I have been sharing it in small doses with LeBella. Most kids hate doing these mundane things but if we making it fun they’re more likely to try. Slowly (I hope) they will realize that doing these things makes them feel good.
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I have a challenge for you guys. Next week the linky for Bipolar Tuesday will be up and here is your prompt:
Pick one of your child’s extreme moods (elation, rage, deep sadness) and put yourself in his/her mind for 5 minutes. What’s there? Don’t be afraid to be honest. The point of this exercise is to build awareness and empathy for our child’s moods. We can easily get caught up in the whirlwind of their emotions and empathy helps us to step back and assess the situation as a guide for them rather than a victim. Come back on Tuesday and link up!
Much love Ragers,
Are you the writerly type? Then pop over to A.L.L. Between the Lines for this week’s Writing Tip!
My Mom’s IEP Needs an IEP
I know that sounds redundant. But in everything you do that old adage “When you fail plan, you plan to fail.” applies. A blogging series is no exception. I think both my intended guest and myself blew us off forgot about today. When we scheduled it weeks ago neither of us considered this was Easter weekend. Oops.
I think the open format of write-whatever-you-want-and-call-it-an-IEP is intimidating for some and I really want to to steal your tricks learn what makes you a great special needs mama. So I’m going to come up with a list of questions and turn this into a interview type series.
So….what should I ask? If you have a great question leave it in the comments and I’ll add it to my list.
On a slightly unrelated note I have an award to bestow. As you all know I am real big on kicking stigma to the curb. Living with mental illness is difficult in and of itself. Feeling like you are shunned and stereotyped by society adds unneeded burden to one’s shoulders. The more we talk about the mental illness that effects our lives the more we shed light and add humanity to this issue. Real people, real problems. Not basement dwelling hunchbacks designing pipe bombs and eating jordan almonds.
And you know what’s amazing? Anyone can help wash away stigma. Old or young. Even if they’re young and living with mental illness themselves.
And do you know someone young with a mental illness who speaks up and tries to wash away stigma? I do.
When she’s not driving me crazy (no pun intended) or busy charming friends and family, LeBella is working on her blog, Silly-licious Princess. There she share’s her experiences, fictional stories, poetry, songs (written and sung) and artwork. She wants grownups to have an inside look at how a kiddo with bipolar disorder thinks and feels. She hopes that by sharing she will help her readers better understand the child in their life who is living with this. And so I pass on to my LeBella:
And last but not least, remember tomorrow is Bipolar Tuesday. The topic is open; come link up any post you have about raising a child with bipolar disorder.
Much love, Ragers!
On the Upswing From Spring!
I won’t lie, I’m just a little giddy.
If you have been following along you know that LeBella has been on hospital/home bound education this year because she simply has not been stable enough to be at school.
You also know we’ve been through multiple med changes and had a couple scares.
You held our hands as we struggled with having her hospitalized.
The past few weeks have been plagued with “Spring Fever“. Lot’s of mania and rages. Meltdowns galore and general unpleasantness.
It really has been a rough year.
But this week? With sun shining on our faces and the promise of summer in the air?
I see a light. No, it’s not the sun blazing in my eyes. It’s more like a light at the end of the tunnel.
It’s not very bright, and it’s kinda far away. But just knowing it’s there? Lifts my spirits and gives me hope!
This week alone I have seen a decrease in rages and when they come they don’t seem to last as long.
They other day, huffing, puffing and red-faced, LeBella grabbed a dining room chair and flung it to the floor before racing to the next one. Normally she would topple them all and then shove the table a few feet.
This time?
She stopped. She looked at me and I could see in her face she was assessing the situation. She put her hands up and said, “Okay, wait..wait.” and she went back and picked up the chair! “I’m sorry. I don’t want to do that.”
Um, what? I have never seen her pull herself out of a rage like that. I told how proud I was that she was aware of her actions and made a better choice.
She has also made a couple of friends. Two little girls who live across the street. They are younger which is good. She is socially immature for her age and she doesn’t feel threaten by these girls! Yay for friends!
I am still tweaking parts of routines and aspects of her treatment plan but I feel like we are heading in the right direction. I hope to see much more of this shining face in the upcoming weeks…months…
For ideas on preventing and de-escalating rages please read “Soothing Techniques” and “More Soothing Techniques“.
And sometimes? You just have to Get Over It Mom!
#BPkids #tweetup Update
Hey Ragers!
Tomorrow’s the big day and I am so excited!
I will be hosting my very first Twitter Party on a topic near and dear to my heart; raising children with bipolar disorder.
I am proud to share with you these wonderful women who, like me, have been (and still are!) in the trenches. No one’s going to be preaching from a pedestal; we’re just real moms who know the reality of living this roller coaster life.
Hartley Steiner lives in the Seattle area with her husband and their three sons, two of which are on the Autism Spectrum, and in addition her oldest is Bipolar. Hartley is the award winning author of the SPD Children’s book This is Gabriel Making Sense of School, and is currently working on her second book due out Fall of 2011. Hartley chronicles the never ending chaos that is her life on the blog Hartley’s Life With 3 Boys and is the founder of the SPD Blogger Network.
Tracy (Dunham) Anglada was born and raised in southern Illinois. She graduated with honors from
Hillsboro High School. Her awards and recognition include: The Presidential Academic Fitness Award,
The National Science Olympiad Award, and induction into The National Honor Society. After high school,
she volunteered full time in a community service Bible educational work for three years. Later, Tracy
would study writing with the Institute of Children’s Literature. Her studies were halted with the birth of her
son. Ironically, it would be this child’s medical condition that prompted her to return to the field of literature.
Tracy currently resides in Florida with her husband and four children. She founded BPChildren in 2001 in
an effort to provide more resources for children who suffer with bipolar disorder. Tracy is the author of the
following books and booklets:
| SWIVEL to Success – Bipolar Disorder in the Classroom: A Teacher’s Guide to Helping Students Succeed The Childhood Bipolar Disorder Answer Book (co-authored with Dr. Hakala) Intense Minds: Understanding Young People with Bipolar Disorder Brandon and the Bipolar Bear: A Story for Children With Bipolar Disorder Turbo Max: A Story for Siblings and Friends of Children With Bipolar Disorder The Student With Bipolar Disorder An Educator’s Guide I’ll Chart My Moods 31 Days |
Chynna Laird is a writer and mother who is helping to raising awareness and understanding for SPD and bipolar disorder. She is also studying to obtain her B.A. in Psychology, specializing in Early Childhood Development. She shares her story as the child of mother with untreated bipolar disorder.
As you all know my sweet girl, LeBella, has bipolar disorder. She was diagnosed right before kindergarten and we have been struggling ever since to find a treatment plan that works and lasts. It’s all trial and error.
We have good days and bad days. We have great days and horrible days.
Being home with her this past year has motivated and inspired me. I am back in school, working towards a degree in Psychology and I am learning to be a voice, an advocate for my daughter and families like ours everywhere.
I would love for you all to join us on Twitter, tomorrow from 8-9pm eastern time, as we talk about our experiences, share resources, and answer questions.
If you would like a chance to win a copy of Tracy, Hartley or Chynna’s books during the party please RSVP here or here.
I will also be giving away a copy of The Bipolar Child: The definitive and Reassuring Guide to Childhood’s Most Misunderstood Disorder by Demitri Papolos, M.D., and Janice Papolos to one reader who leaves a question here for our guests (chosen by Random.org).
The easiest way to following along is by using Tweetchat.
Remember to follow @mommylebron, @ParentingSPD, @BPChildrenBooks and @lilywolf.
