Category Archives: Mom’s IEP
Mom’s IEP: DS Walker
Hello Ragers! I am very happy to share today’s IEP with you! We are talking with DS Walker, author of Delightfully Different, and a sweet lady I am honored to call a friend. After reading this I hope you will go show her some Rager love!
1. First, tell us a little about your family dynamics and what special needs you have become an expert on.
Our family consists of a teenager girl on the autism spectrum and an almost teenage son who is not on the spectrum. My husband and I are both in the medical profession, yet it still took four years of struggles and getting the wrong diagnosis from more than one doctor before our daughter finally had a full workup; the results a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome at age ten.
This actually brought understanding into our lives as I researched everything I could find on Asperger’s so I could help her learn to cope. The fact that we initially listened to the doctors who misdiagnosed her caused her to have trust issues. She was trying to deal with this and our family was starting to mend when she experienced severe bullying in middle school. This caused a whole different set of issues and I then added the effects of bullying to my research.
2. Mornings are notoriously hard for so many of us. What is the most challenging part of your morning and how do you deal with it?
Thankfully, this is not an issue for us anymore since she now is attending virtual school. This issue affected us more when she was younger, so I learned a long time ago to get up early enough to have my cup of coffee and get myself dressed before I started trying to get her up.
I learned that she needed longer to actually get out of bed, so I had a system of calling her a half hour before she had to get up and every few minutes afterwards until she was able to get out of bed. She also picked out her clothes and packed her backpack the night before which made the mornings go easier.
3. Schedules and routines or surprises and winging it. How do you get through the day?
She has been responsible for a while now, so scheduling is not a problem anymore for us unless something unexpected happens. Then I just try to help her through it by giving her time to vent and blow off steam before we adjust to the change. She is fifteen and we have been aware of her challenges for five years now which helps tremendously. The only times this hasn’t worked is prior to the diagnosis and during the year of the bullying and again when she had to deal with a situation recently indirectly related to the bullying.
However, surprises are definitely something I try to avoid. My husband threw me a surprise birthday party a few years ago, only he forgot to tell her. Big mistake! She did recover from it, but it was not fun.
4. Has your family been supportive? How so, or if not how have you tried to help them understand?
We have some members on both sides of our family who are very supportive and others who are trying to learn how to be more supportive. I have given family members my novel, Delightfully Different and I also gave my in-laws a copy of Tony Attwood’s book The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome and I printed out a copy of information specifically geared toward grandparents that you can view at: http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2008/11/grandparents-of-aspergers-kids.html
I also talk to them about ways they can help and they really are trying. Unfortunately, we also have some family members who seem to avoid us and others who think she is just shy. We remind her that it their loss not hers, but they still have the power to hurt her.
5. Overall, what is the biggest challenge presented by your child’s diagnosis? How do you handle this?
The biggest challenge was getting the correct diagnosis in the first place, but after that the biggest challenge has been helping her overcome the bullying and being misunderstood for so long. Of course, she does still have sensory challenges related to the diagnosis too.
6. What are the most wonderful qualities about your child that wish others could see more of?
She is very smart, has musical talents, and a good heart. I am very proud to call her my daughter.
7. What resources would you recommend to other families in your position?
I recommend Tony Attwood’s book The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome and for those with a girl on the spectrum I also recommend Ruby Simone’s Aspergirls: Empowering Females With Asperger Syndrome and Rachel B. Cohen-Rottenberg’s The Uncharted Path: My Journey with Late-Diagnosed Autism. In addition, I recommend that they explore blogs of those on the spectrum from Autism Blogs Directory to get further insights into their child along with support for themselves. I also recommend that they contact their local Autism Society for resources in their area and that they ask questions and connect with others who have been where they are now.
8. We know that it is important to take care of ourselves to be beneficial to our families. How do you make time for yourself and what are somethings you do that are just for you?
I try to make sure I have a few quiet minutes to myself in the morning to mentally prepare for my day. I also take walks with my dogs and try to find time to read for fun not just for information although interacting with my blogging friends is fun too.
9. What is the single most important post that you have written on your child’s challenges?
I have to say the post I wrote for Danette’s Doors Series at S-O-S Research Blog is the most important post I have written about her challenges. You can find it here http://sos-research-blog.com/02/a-door-to-understanding-bullying-and-teaching-kindness-and-tolerance/
10. Where on the interwebz can my dear Ragers find you so they can steal your ideas learn from your wisdom?
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Thank you so much for joining us today!
