Bipolar Tuesday: Won’t to Can’t
The past couple of weeks have been a true test of my patience. About a week ago I had an epiphany. It is what it is. Until we get a med adjustment LeBella’s issues are unavoidable. So, how can I make this scenario less stressful for both of us? Simple, I need to change to “Won’t” to “Can’t” and go from there.
Stressor: LeBella won’t stop yelling.
Truth: LeBella can’t stop yelling. (She is a sensory seeker, noise is a favorite.)
Solution 1: I give her opportunities to stretch her vocal cords. We turn on the radio and Living room Karaoke our butts off.
Solution 2:We uses lots of silly voices, high squeaky voices and deep grumbly voices and everything in between.
Stressor: LeBella won’t stop running circles around the house.
Truth: LeBella can’t stop running circles around the house. (When she is manic she’s near to bursting with energy, I swear the air around her vibrates!)
Solution 1: Send her out back. We are fortunate to have a six foot privacy fence, that is locked from the outside. I send her out there and she runs all around until she is sweaty and panting.
Solution 2: Just Dance 2 on the WII. This game has been a Godsend! She loves the songs. After a few songs she has burned up some energy and brought her mood up a few notches.
Stressor: LeBella won’t stopping running away in public.
Truth: LeBella can’t stop running away in public. (She has very poor impulse control and is a notorious eloper.)
Solution 1: Don’t take her out. I try to leave her home when I can, even if that means I have to do shopping at night after she is sleeping. This is hard because I’m use to her being with me everywhere.
Solution 2: Careful planning. I know I can take her out first thing in the morning, she usually wakes up in a good mood.
Stressor: LeBella won’t remember the things she needs to do routinely.
Truth: LeBella can’t remember the things she needs to do routinely.
Solution 1: I made LeBella a control journal, you can read more about that here.
Solution 2: LeBella has a couple “launch pads”, these are areas that are set up ahead of time with items she will need (i.e. all her home school materials are organized and set up in a special spot).
Stressor: LeBella won’t stop touching/hitting everyone.
Truth: LeBella can’t stop touching/hitting everyone. (She is seeking sensory stimulation.)
Solution 1: I provide sensory activities for her such as shaving cream, bubble wrap, playdoh, bubbles and a variety of textured fabrics.
Solution 2: Blanket wrapping. She loves this, we spread her comforter out on the floor, she lays on it and I roll and unroll her repeatedly.(also good: crash pads, compression tunnels and indoor swings)
Thank you to the following lovely ladies for your input: @Heatherlisa82, @Jennyannfraser, @JenTroester, @tiredmommyof4, @TheRealDaniG
If you have any other issues that you need ideas for or you have more ideas for the issues listed please leave a comment!
Posted on February 15, 2011, in bipolar, parenting and tagged behavior, Bipolar disorder, bipolar Tuesday, bpkids, habits, Health, LeBella, Mental disorder, raising special needs children, tired mom. Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.
You are working so hard for her. That’s amazing mama. You’re doing good
Thank you! I’m trying!
wow, those are really great solutions… good luck, hope these help both of you until her meds can be changed
Thank you!
The idea that you just changed a completely negative situation into one you can live with is a positive in my book. I hope you find the answers, soon.
It’s the only way to not lose my mind. It’s like, the serenity prayer in action, if you will. And thank you!
I’m impressed…sounds like she needs brushing, at a minimum
Thank you Lynn, I ordered her a brush yesterday.
you made such a big important point in this post- all of these things they can’t do…(they being an overgeneralized term for all of our kiddos lol)- things they really can’t control and are as aggravating for themselves as they are to us- there’s so many great ways to avoid those behaviors and you did a great job with this
and thanks for the shout-out
Thank you! I have long found that the behavioral issues that came up with children on the spectrum were the same or similar to those our bipolar kiddos were having. Of course, now that LeBella’s been placed on the spectrum I wonder…
Bravo bravo bravo!
Mommy Lebron – I’m out of the loop here but is your daughter on the Autism spectrum? A few of those behaviors sound like spectrum issues more than bp issues (?) Also, can they give you a PRN to bring that mania down quickly like an AP? You are going to get worn to the core with her revving at that rate
Actually she was just dx’d with Aspergers (in addition to the bipolar and ADHD). I used to have extra Clonidine that I could use prn but when they released her from the phosp the only gave me a script for .5mg of Risperdal x a day! We see the pdoc on Friday.
Right there with you, minus the creative solutions! I’ve been striving to keep in mind what Lily can control, and what’s beyond her. Thanks for great ideas! BTW – Lily also loves Just Dance – aren’t we lucky?
(((hugs)))
Yes! I wouldn’t trade my lil hurricane for anything! I love dancing with her, you know if no ones looking…
Now you’ve got me questioning whether her constant pushing and aggression toward her brother is something more than mood and/or sibling jealousy. These are incredibly creative ways to handle LaBella. I wish there were something for a nasty mouth. That and the giggle fest are our biggest hurdles right now.