Bipolar Tuesday: Voices From the Front

Cover via Amazon

I borrowed today’s title from a chapter of The Bipolar Child: The Definitive and Reassuring Guide to Childhood’s Most Misunderstood Disorder — Third Edition, as it seemed appropriate.

Today I will be sharing with you a brief interview with Meg, of Raising Bipolar. Meg is raising a teenage son, Ryan who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 6 and the diagnosis was confirmed at 12. Be sure to visit her at her blog and let her know she has lots of support and understanding!

 

1. In general what do you  find to be the biggest issue that bipolar disorder poses to your family?

The biggest issue we find with our son having Bipolar I is that our son needs a great deal of attention and assistance and this can be physically, emotionally and financially draining.  People in the ‘outside’ world really have no idea how much effort goes into just keeping him safe and sane and functioning well enough to where he appears fine to most of the people he encounters.  And ironically, as a teen he needs much more care and assistance than he did as a younger child.  But this is due to his bipolar symptoms really coming forth more with the teen years and the hormone fluctuations.

2. What do you find to be your most successful strategy in dealing with the issue?

We find our life works best right now with me staying home full time and homeschooling our son.  This requires a great deal of financial sacrifice as well as other sacrifices but we find it is worth it.  We found that regular school, even with a lengthy IEP, was a huge stress for him that triggered all kinds of problems (rages, psychosis, etc) and we could not keep him stable while in public school.  I will say, though, that this really did not become a problem until middle school.  But middle school is very different than elementary school in so many ways and that environment was toxic for our son.

3. What are some of the most wonderful qualities your child possess that you wish others could see more often?

Our son has a million wonderful qualities and luckily this is what people see most often when they see him.  He is funny, mostly outgoing, athletic, inquisitive, engaging, and the list goes on and on. Because he is an only child and because we spend so much time and energy helping him at home and ‘behind the scenes’ most people only see the positive sides of him and that is good.   And when they do see him act out or struggling most of them already know he is bipolar and so they fairly understanding.   And if they aren’t, we don’t need them in our lives anyway.

If you could make on change to your child’s IEP, what would it be?

We don’t use an IEP anymore because we homeschool but when he was in public school he had nearly every accommodation available.  Extended time, mark in the book, read aloud, separate testing area, preferred seating, etc.  And they were all important.  In middle school all of the accommodations in the world were not enough for him as the classes were big (some 30+ kids and the small class assistance he had in elementary school had been cut from budget cuts) and not all of the teachers followed the IEP.  Also, the changing of classes, changing of teachers, overwhelmed teachers, the immaturity of the kids, social issues (girls/boys/sex/drugs/fights) all proved to be too much for him.  However, were he to have stayed in public school I think the most important IEP accommodations would be to have a safe place for him to go in the school that is quiet when he gets overwhelmed and the ability to turn in late assignments and get credit for them.

4. What is the most important aspect of raising a bipolar child?

Keeping a positive attitude.  It can be hard but it’s really important.  These kids struggle more than most parents will ever realize. They deal with internal battles and thought dysfunction that most parents will never understand.  And they also take on the emotions, stress and struggle of those around them as their own.  So, as hard as it can be, as a parent it is really important to keep your own emotions in check and model positive, strong, consistent and low emotion behavior.  It makes a huge difference in how your child or teen reacts to the world around them and how safe they feel, and how safe they feel directly impacts their behavior and attitude.

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Meg, thank you so much for sharing with us. I know for me, it’s reassuring to know that other families are going through the same things and it helps to know what’s working and what challenges there are.  xoxo